BEAUTY WITHIN

What is BEAUTY? It’s easy to tell the definition of this: An outer appearance, attractive personality, or fair color. A person with a beautiful appearance captures the attention of people everywhere. If God has given you pretty face you will be the centre of attraction and it is 💯 true. Now a times people with beautiful face according to predefined scientific definitions are appreciated more. I am not saying that people who are beautiful don’t deserve to be appreciated, of course because people who are beautiful needs a praise. But it is also wrong to judge a person by the color of his skin. A person with unimpressive or average look can be much better human being than a beautifully structured physique. So by my opinion beauty doesn’t mean physically, it means beauty of a soul and having a pure heart . It leads to the fact that beauty is just not physical beauty, it has to be inside from heart.

Beauty lies in the heart and thinking of a person, it lies how the other person treats, or respect. If he/she is awesome looking but not respecting others treating them like a tissue paper so what is the need of that physical beauty as from outer you are white with a black heart, in my opinion not worth praising. So real beauty lies in the temperament of one’s nature. You are beautiful to the world if you are helping and standing with person who needs the most when struggling through hardships of life. If you respect a person without seeing the bank balance, physical appearance and you talk to them politely it’s deserved to be called beautiful. Basically beauty lies in the Character and goodness in you. Only humble and Noble person can steal your heart. Inner beauty can gain you lots of friends, I don’t deny that people will remember how good looking you are but more to this they remember how good you by heart.

The perfect example of this is a husband and wife relationship, a successful marriage depends on the mutual understanding and if there is no understanding it will not last, it depends on how compatible you are. Love doesn’t depend on how good looking or how beautiful you are, that’s why now a days we are hearing about broken marriages because today’s generation is just about physical beauty and are very quick in making decisions, they don’t see how compatible you are with each other. Whatever is true is beautiful or in other words, however bitter or harsh reality may be, it is always beautiful. From my understanding beauty lies in confidence, appreciating and loving yourself, beauty of a woman doesn’t mean from outside it is her inner soul and how she thinks, how independent she is.

Sorrows and hardships cannot be separated from the beauty, if you have the courage to face the hardships of life then you are beautiful, if you have understanding towards poor you are beautiful more than beautiful looking person.

ARE WE REALLY HAPPY

ARE WE??

This is the question which we can’t answer truly, or we even don’t ask because we think we are happy.

What it really means to be happy? Happiness is like other emotions, it’s not something we obtain but it is a feeling we inhabit. When we are angry we do weird things. For instance we start throwing things or abusing other person at that very moment. We never think “AM I REALLY ANGRY“, or “AM I DOING THIS RIGHT“, we choose to live in anger. Just as a confident man doesn’t wonder if he’s confident, a happy man does not wonder if he’s happy because he simply is. And nowadays, happiness is depending on materialistic things, is these things really makes one happy? Then sometimes why we see unprivileged people are happy in spite of having so much crisis, struggles if they get proper meal for themselves or even for their children they are happy!
When most people seek happiness, they are actually seeking pleasure: good food, more time for TV and movies, a new car, parties with friends, full body massages, losing weight becoming more popular, and so on, and now days most of happiness is dependent on social media like how many followers do we have on Instagram, how many likes on faebook. Again same question rises, do these things really matter to be happy. People often correlate happiness with pleasure but these two are different as pleasure is can also be defined in negative way while speaking of a drug addict. He might be happy experiencing it’s affects. That is a poison but is he really happy “NO” and we can see and witness that seeing him suffer the after affects of it, but it’s just his mind that makes him thinks he is happy. Pleasure is false, people who focus their energy on materialistic and superficial things end up more anxious, more emotionally unstable and less happy in the long-run.

Happiness is only something which you can earn for yourself, and it is not one time it can be with us lifetime but we have to put little efforts to maintain it, you need to practice certain things daily in order to achieve this. If you are looking for happiness from inside you need to involve your family and friends as people now days suffering from depression they don’t involve friends and family members in their problems or secret and this is wrong! The most important thing is to look within to find true happiness but it is equally important to surround yourself with positive people. Happiness is a state of joy, if you train your brain it will stay like this as we know what we say our brain it follows it’s just we have to get focused on it.

It is not very simple, one has to experience happiness time to time it can take months or even years to make last.

As per studies happiness can stay lifetime with you if you focus on these things:

a) Be content

b) Be positive

c) Live in present

d) Surround yourself with positive people

e) Be thankful

It is easy to get carried away by negative thoughts. However, you must always remind yourself of the good times and all the things you should be thankful about. This is a good way to shift your mood from negative to positive.

“THE 4 HUMAN YEARS”

As in my previous article I tried to explain about “Life” that how to deal with it, as I thought more about it went deep inside it. It’s really excited when you want to know about something deeply from your heart you go and research from every possible sources, as we know there is no life without struggles and problems and these things come in every phase or stage of life. Yes there are stages of life the difference is every stage of life has different problems and solutions, there are many stages of life and we are all aware of it.
The major stages of the human life cycle include infancy, the toddler years, childhood, puberty, older adolescence, adulthood, middle age, and the senior years. Proper nutrition and health care is needed in every stage of life so that we can get ready to deal with problems and struggles which come in between. As per Hindu concepts these stages are called “ASHRAMAS”. The four ashramas are: Brahmacharya (student), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired) and Sannyasa (renunciate). I know in this modern world these things are left behind, 90% of young generation must not be knowing about Hindu concepts, I said 90% that means 10% are still there who believe in this concept and follow it.

These four “ASHRAMAS” are same as what we say today :

  • Stage I: Play, Imitation and Education. Birth – Infancy – Childhood – Adolescence.
  • Stage II: Self-Discovery, Enterprise & Adventurousness. Adolescence – Early Adulthood – Adulthood.
  • Stage III: Dedication, Contemplation & Benevolence. …
  • Stage IV: Retirement, Wisdom & Renunciation.

As deep we go in these things there are endless, really curious to know them all. In this busy world we all don’t get time for to read or think about all this, as I studied further from modern point of view was really surprised as these have different names:

STAGE ONE: MIMICRY

STAGE TWO: SELF-DISCOVERY

STAGE THREE: COMMITMENT

STAGE FOUR: LEGACY

You all must be thinking what’s the importance or point of these stages, developing through each subsequent stage of life grants us greater control over our happiness and well-being. So my next articles will be about how these stages go and how we deal our life with more confidence.

TASTE OF LIFE

Hello Readers,

Generally when we ask people “HOW IS LIFE” or “WHAT IS LIFE” we get that one typical answer that “LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL” indeed life is beautiful but do we actually understand the meaning of “LIFE”?

Life is beautiful no doubt but at the same time not easy there are problems too, and we have challenge to face them with courage by letting the beauty of life to act as a medicine by which pain becomes bearable during hard times by giving us hope. Life is full of moments of joy, pleasure, success and on other side it has misery, defeat, failures and problems. There is nobody on this Earth who hasn’t gone through problems like failure and struggle, whether he is strong, powerful, rich, poor, wise and unwise, but every moment should be celebration of being alive. On the other side one should be always ready to face any challenges. A person who has not gone through these challenges or encounter these difficulties have never seen the path of success.

Difficulties test the courage, patience, and true character of a human being. Hardships and challenges make the person strong and make them ready to face the world and to reach the success, life is not just bunch of roses it has thorns in them and we should accept them as we accept the beautiful side of life.
Those, who are under the impression that life is a bed of roses soon awake from the dream and become the victims of depression and frustration. One who faces difficulties with courage and accepts success without letting it go is the one who experience real happiness, and peace in life. Those who think, that good times last forever, easily come in pressure during difficulties, they do not put so much of hard work and efforts because they break down easily. Like a road life also has turns, ups and downs we just want to know which is right turn we have to take to reach the destination and no matter how much difficulty we have to face.


We must appreciate the good in our life and express for the same. Many people are not happy with the way things go on in their lives. They criticize almost everything and everyone around and have a negative approach. There are so many things that they should be thankful, they are in good health is a reason to be thankful for, the other thing that they are able and can work hard and make their life better, they must appreciate what they have and be thankful for it. Everything they can have, just need a patience and courage. God has given us a chance to live and enjoy the beauty of the nature. Life is a valuable and precious gift and we must all value it. We must express gratitude and stay positive to make the most of this gift given to us. We must also value the lives of those around us.

“STYLES OF PARENTING”

As in my previous article “PARENTING: BIG CHALLENGE” told you that there are different styles of parenting which we follow but without knowing them. So I made a little effort and studied more to increase my knowledge and thought of sharing it with you.

a. Authoritarian Parenting
b. Authoritative Parenting
c. Permissive Parenting
d. Uninvolved

Authoritarian Parenting: Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, “Because I said so,” when a child questions the reasons behind a rule. They are not interested in any kind of compromise and their focus is how children can become obedient, whether it right or wrong, they also don’t allow kids to get involved in problem-solving challenges or obstacles, they make their own rules and enforce the consequences with little regard for a child’s opinion. Authoritarian parents may use punishments instead of discipline. So rather than teach a child how to make better choices, they’re invested in making kids feel sorry for their mistakes. If some of you doing this can know the name and may be change to other ways as it is not the right way.

Authoritative Parenting: Authoritative parents have rules and they use consequences, but they also take their children’s opinions into account. They value their children’s feelings, while also making it clear that the they are ultimately in charge. Children raised with authoritative discipline tend to be happy and successful. They’re also more likely to be good at making decisions and evaluating safety risks on their own.

Permissive Parenting : Permissive parents usually take on more of a friend role than a parent role. They often encourage their children to talk with them about their problems, but they generally don’t put much effort into discouraging poor choices or bad behavior. Kids who grow up with this style are more likely to struggle academically. They may exhibit more behavioral problems as they don’t like authority and rules. They often have low self-esteem and may report a lot of sadness.

Uninvolved parenting: Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy into meeting children’s basic needs. These parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis. Children with uninvolved parents are likely to struggle with self-esteem issues. They tend to perform poorly in school. They also exhibit frequent behavior problems and rank low in happiness.

“PARENTING : BIG CHALLENGE”

Hello readers, I am back with my favourite topic. After my blog “ROLE OF A PARENT”, I now thought that it’s a responsibility and an challenging act infact. Parenting style has an extreme effect on every aspect child development. You all must be thinking what is there about parenting that is so less talked about and yet so complex and important. Though its a simple thing which can be practiced, but trust me its most important thing as it depends on a child’s future so it’s an major exam of our life, which every parents wans to pass it with distinction, as for this exam there is no compartment. When if you fail it is also the failure of your child.

Together we can learn and study so that there can be no scope of failure. As I was going through some books, I was surprised that there were different styles of parenting. I thought “STYLESReally? But as going through it I was shocked and surprised as we all raise our childern in same way somehow and I suppose it might be a little different as state of minds are different but all in all leads to a one similar STYLE!

As per my reading and knowledge I came to know there are 4 styles :
a. Authoritarian Parenting
b. Authoritative Parenting
c. Permissive Parenting
d. Uninvolved
I haven’t heard any of it before. I may be indulging in one of this style but I didn’t knew the STYLE it represented! The famous saying of SHAKESPEARE ‘What’s in the name?’ is as good as to be followed as long as we are following right procedure or path to develop our childern socially and mentally. I am just sharing my views. Since parenting can’t be done by reading articles, it is not essay. It’s a hard work which we all do according to our knowledge and experiences. Yes we can always read and improve our ways.

So I just wanted to share my information which I am studying just to overcome my curiosity and I will soon be back with it on continuation!

PAST : A LOOK INTO THE FUTURE!

“PAST” by hearing or thinking of this word we often get anxious, happy or sad …strange feelings get into our minds. In my knowledge each and every one of us lives in past weather we admit or not, this is one thing which we never forget even if we want to. As we often ask people about their current situation or what makes them who they are right now, they respond, “My past experiences. My education. My environment. My genetics. These are things that either happened in the past or that you were born with–things you carry with you from the past into the future.

I am amazed just how much my past affects my present. I am the person today because of my past experiences. Some of these experiences make me a better person, and some of them make me a bit more difficult or complicated. Often I think I should let my past go but at same time it comes in front of me in many forms, sometimes if you want to let your past go people will not let you do so they will constantly bring it in front of you. By this you constantly realise that how much past has its hold on you. Sometimes it is good to remember the past and learn from mistakes,

Everyone makes mistakes — people in all walks of life, all professions and all age groups. Don’t let your mistakes define you and undermine your self-confidence. Let your mistakes be your teachers so you can learn and grow from them. Then you can define yourself by the best of what you are. We just have to accept our mistakes then only we can get rid of them, I know its not easy thing as I am saying this but not doing it myself, normally we know by heart that we are wrong or done a mistake but don’t wanna accept in front of others so this is the reason. It always come in present and ruin our future also. But it is not only the past which we think it is our future also we think, who suffers??? “PRESENT” It is true that your current life is, to a large extent, the result of your past actions, choices and experiences, your future is determined by how you act in the present moment. In other words, your past does not have to define you or your future.

We can let go our past to make an awesome future by making the decision to let it go. Things don’t disappear on their own we have to make efforts by expressing the pain and the responsibilities and the main by focussing on present what is here and now and the last thing forgive others and yourself.

“SELF IMPROVEMENT”

Again strange and new topic….what I shared previously is connected with our outer stream, we generally get busy on judging others and impressing them, giving lectures on how can they improve and can get better, but by doing this we often forget to improve ourselves as in whole “INNER AND OUTER STREAM” not for others but for us. Don’t know about others but I have to do it, and HOW is the big question? Let’s start doing this. No one knows beforehand what the end result is but it’s still worth a try.

WHAT IS SELF IMPROVEMENT“? You will be thinking about this! As by this word we can understand it is about improving in our knowledge, status, character and most important our behavior towards others by our own efforts, It’s the quest to make ourselves better in any and every facet of life. If we have decided to take a step towards this, firstly we must know where actually we stand because before achieving self improvement we need “Self Awareness”. By my thinking or reading there are few steps that can help in this :

a) Create time to think; before doing or saying anything to anyone, as per my own nature I know most of the time we are adamant on what we are doing or saying is right , we get irritated or sometimes angry that why other person is not understanding, but this attitude is wrong, its just simple to understand that god has given everyone different brain to use and we can’t enforce on anyone for anything.

b) Make learning and listening a habit; this people generally dont have or I can say about myself I really don’t have this. What other say we don’t listen, same as I mentioned above because we think we are right and other is wrong it happens in each relationship whether husband and wife, siblings, friends etc, most misunderstandings are due to this, its most important factor on which we should work.

c) Get to know the detail of your desires; generally it happens with me specifically that I get confuse to what I want and I think it happens with most of us. Lots and lots of things in mind but don’t know what to do and where to start and it messes up our life sometimes, we should know the nature of our desires, are they genuine? How can we fulfill them without hurting anyone’s emotion.

d) Take care of yourself physically; last but not the least in this world of rat race we make time to do everything except ourselves which should be the most precious thing. As if we will take care of our health and body we will start making effort to improve above things.

By all these factors above there are some other things by which we can make ourselves more interesting to convince other people that we are interesting and fascinating and more importantly to yourself. Reading a book daily, overcome your fears, getting out of the comfort zone, start penning down your thoughts its a great thing and can say from personal experience.

WHAT IS COMPATIBILITY?

Hello Readers,

This is another thought which comes in my mind very often even after so many years of marriage. Compatibility is which we relate with love but Love and Compatibility are not the same thing, though they are often confused for one another, now you must be thinking what am I saying ? or what am I trying to explain? Often we say when two people are married they are compatible, but is this true? OR when two people are in relationship they are compatible? “NO”. This can’t be true 💯% as I already stated above that these two can’t be related together. So by reading this you all must be thinking about the question /topic which is raised here that “What is Compatibility?” Now lets make an effort to understand this.

By the word COMPATIBILITY everyone relates between the couples, but I don’t agree on it, it can be between siblings, best friends, and like that many other relations! By my observation compatibility in this fast generation is really complicated, difficult to understand, seeing couples around me I have learnt many things to make any relation compatible and not just between my husband and myself but as a mother, daughter in law, and a daughter and I came to a conclusion that there are definitely some factors that can make relationship much more compatible. These are my thoughts which I am trying to put in words. Transparency, Communication, Respect, we often think these are the factors which are needed for good compatibility but do we really apply or understand them completely?

Transparency, by word its understood that in a relationship clarity is the most important aspect in a relationship. 2 people should be transparent and clear like water, at times we all will say that we are clear/ we tell each other everything, but is it there really? I know its a little thing but partners who are aware of what the other is doing or what other is feeling at particular moment is a simple thing that makes one feel happy, safe and develop a sense of security and consistency about their relationship. Talking to one another about everything supports the idea of transparency and improves communication between partners. This is 2nd factor “Communication”.

We should be proud that we humans are the one who has been gifted with the symbolic language but yet we fail to communicate or I can say we don’t utilize the gift correctly when it comes to any sort of relationships. Couples who express or communicate get to know what’s going on so there’s no guessing game, no surprises. If you’re going to be transparent and you communicate, then you might put it all out. Truth is always difficult thing to choose but with this as we move forward we can see the destination very clear. When partners hold each other’s as priority then respect is natural. So next comes “Respect”.

Successful couples start with a sense of what is important in the life of other partner, true love is about putting someone else’s needs before our own. Now that doesn’t mean sacrifice it is just a simple consideration as “LOVE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT, IT SHOULD BE PEOPLE WHO MAKE IT PERFECT”. Often, we become so distracted by the lives that we lead, that we forget that our relationship needs a little attention to make it perfect, The other most important thing is giving space which means being considerate of someone else’s needs and respecting those needs in a way to give support.

These are some of the things I see in relationships that really work and have stood up to everything, spending time together, speaking your views, respecting each other, take care of each other, laugh with — and at — one another; is it too hard to do ?

Role of a Parent

As in my first write up I wrote that I want to understand parenting, so giving it a little try. Parenting is a great job and need atmost care and affection. The task of Parents, therefore, is to develop the physical, mental, and emotional powers of the child, in a perfect balance. So its a job in which we have to give it our 💯, as time passes by seeing our childern it feel likes something is really missing and its difficult to find that ‘What is it ?’

For a parent sometimes it becomes difficult to understand that if we are doing up to the expectations of our childern or lacking somewhere. We all want to be the best parents but there is often conflicting thoughts between a parent and a child as both have different thinking process, but the goal is same with a big question how to raise a kid who is confident, kind and successful. And having two or more childern means you are raising and growing two different minds each of them who needs a different kind of guidance and care.

Life starts getting change when you come to know that a new life is going to enter in our world to make it beautiful and complete, you have the mixed feelings you are happy, excited, nervous, scared. Big question in my mind is how will it be done? As everything is new, it becomes completely an another phase of life. Everything changes. One has to think every aspect such as their future, education and other important things and above all we have to understand them so in return they can also understand us. We have to create a special bond with them but that doesn’t mean there are no boundaries! Show your love by setting boundaries so your kids can explore and discover their passions within the pitch you have set for them. Give your kid(s) such a learning and training that they have a chance to find their own solutions in life from childhood, usually we don’t do this as we can’t see them in pain or struggle. We have to understand that by not doing this we are not making them ready for stuggles or helping them to prepare for the exam of life. When you lovingly acknowledge a child’s minor frustrations without immediately rushing in to save her/him, you teach them self-reliance. Let them choose the activity, and don’t worry about discipline and rules. Just become another child companion for your kid and go with the flow and have fun. Get started when they are a newborn; babies love listening to the sound of their parents’ voices. Cuddling up with your child and a book is a great bonding experience that will set them up for a lifetime. The greatest resource available for improving their lives is the time with Dad. Early and often kids engaged with fathers do better in school, have more ability towards problem-solving more successfully, and generally cope better with whatever life throws at them.Make warm memories, maybe children probably will not remember anything that has been said to them, but they will recall the family rituals — like bedtimes and game night — that had been made together by love, we can be role model to them in the one phase of their life whatever that might be! It’s really difficult to become, but nothing seems impossible, as a parent or individual we know by heart what flaws we have so we don’t want them to carry these.

It is very important to keep simple things in mind for being a better parent. Some times we forget these small things which can create a huge gap between parent and a child. If sometimes you feel irritated by their demands just be in there shoes, just remember the time when you were a child and felt the same way. If your child has made a plan to spend a night at their friend’s place and you don’t want them to do that just think from your child’s point of view, just think when you were a 10 year old and made plans with your friend to stay and made plans to play together, study, midnight eats and how excited you were and how bad would you have felt if you missed it!! Those times with friends will not come back and you as a parent today will cherish those childhood memories forever. In the same way, see the situation from your ten year old’s perspective. As in my thinking children are smarter enough to understand and do things better than us. It is we who have to teach them in proper way by giving them more examples.

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Image source 2. https://images.app.goo.gl/sKFFxwmNeiGRVmgP9

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